(no subject)

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday, and I don't know if it was a mistake or not. I do still love him, but I don't know if I'm ready for this kind of relationship so young. He's still my best friend and all, but he's still in love with me. I wish I could be in love with him too, but I'm not. I love him, just not so much in that way. And he told me he'd wait for me, but I'm afraid he might be waiting forever. But then I was thinking that maybe if we are apart as a couple long enough, he will stop loving me. Do you think it's possible? If so, message me or e-mail me, I guess at But, I'd prefer messages. I just need a little advice, from anyone, it doesn't matter how much.
Thanks in advance,

  • Current Music
    Hello- Evanescence
take me as i am


he memorized my name
said it was his lullaby
he knows when i was born
but doubt i'll ever die

i told you once i aint' afraid of shit
i've been dragged all around this world
and it didn't hurt one bit

yeah she stole my heart
that stupid theif
i fell in love
my friend couldn't believe

i was a fool,
those days i used to lie
and all i ever do know
is drink and cry

your my friend
and i'm your friend
so another shot
for our friendship.
  • Current Music
    yeah yeah yeahs

i saw my ex today....

were friends now, but every see him, i feel  like a pulling in my stomach and my heart, remembering all of the happy times i had with him......this time, he looked a little different, but i could still see him in my head, holding me and kissing pisses me off because i dont want to be with him, he acted like somewhat of an asshole to me.....but i cant resist it...i couldnt even look at his face, i was so scared i might fall in love with him thoughts keep coming back to him now that ive seen him again....i dont know what to do...
  • Current Music
    tears dont fall; bullet for my valentine

My broken heart isn't healing.

It has been about 2 weeks since Sci broke up with me,he asked my "friend" out while he was going out with me. He didn't even explain it to me, he just said that he was in love with someone else. She doesn't even like him, so he got over her. He didn't treat me right, but I just can't get over him. How can he act like nothing happened between us, like we never went out? He talks and IMs me all the time he even hangs out with my friends sometimes. Everytime I see or talk to him I die a little on the inside. I miss him and I love him. He said he loved me. I can't take it, I'm still friends with him and he always tells me when he is in love with someone. He loves my best friend! How can he think I don't care?!?! You know that song "What Hurts the Most", everytime I here that song I think of him and cry. And everytime I think of him I think of that song. That song relates to me and him. I don't get why he doesn't like me, he didn't even really give me a chance.

  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed

What pain

I cannot put into words my true pain. I can only hope to transfer some of the pain from my feelings into the text here before you. I don't have anything grand to say. I've been cheated on and lied to, by someone I loved (you, dear girl). I've joined the ranks of those that have been cheated on--and now understand what a broken heart is. I am also angry--angry at her disregard for me, her lack of respect, her incredible success at making me feel so expendable. Nothing much more to say. Time heals all I guess.

  • Current Mood
    cold cold

(no subject)

What do you do when you love more than one? I never thought it possible to love more than one person at one time, to love them with all my heart, but here I was wrong. And others say it isn't possible, but you can't believe until you experience.

I love many, few, what have you. I love Nate, my ex, who I still talk to all the time, still see all the time. I love Sam, someone who believes we're soulmates. I love Alan, one who says I've infiltrated his mind and he can't get me out, doesn't want me out. I love Keith, who's always there no matter what. I love James, who tells me not only what I want to hear but what I *need* to hear. I love Aleks, who's loved me forever, and Chris, who believes me to be beautiful. I would marry any one of these men in a heartbeat, would promise my life to them.

Some say it's merely infatuation. I don't believe so. . . I don't know anything, don't know what I'm supposed to do, to think. I want to be clearheaded for once and do what's best for me without hurting anyone else. But how do I chose? How do I know?